My Space Blogs – Dec 2006

Tuesday, December 05, 2006

Nuff Said
Category: Automotive

Do not take your car to Grossinger Autoplex. DO NOT.

9:51 AM 1 Comments0 KudosAdd CommentEdit Remove

Pranks a Lot
Category: Jobs, Work, Careers


The Parakeet works on the 18th floor of a building downtown in the financial district. Her little trading firm clears through a business located on the 16th floor of the same building. That business is not so little and the Parakeet finds herself in their offices three or four times through-out her five hour day. This is where she picks up statements in the morning, drops off wire requests, and most importantly gets free coffee and muffins.
She does, however, have to wait for the elevator every time- going only two floors in the elevator feels ridiculous.
On Friday, one of the traders she works with suggested she take the stairs down to 16 for her coffee. Well, the Parakeet has worked here nearly three years and had never taken the stairs. She didn’t even know where they were. The trader said he wasn’t sure where on 16 she would come out, but why not have an adventure. It being Friday and the Parakeet was in a good mood, she obliged. Two flights of stairs never hurt anybody.
As the door closed behind her, she noticed the stairs were the gray metal of a fire escape. Whatever.
She got to the sixteenth floor. Locked.
You’ve got to be kidding me. She went back up to the 18th floor. Locked.
Oh, someone thinks they are real funny. She heard people in the hall and knocked. No answer.
She began to head back down the stairs.
Floor after floor was locked.
Occasionally she banged when she heard people. But mostly she knew where this was going and banged her little black shoes down metal stair after metal stair.
The Parakeet walked down 18 flights with only mild worry that even the first floor would be locked.
It was not. She exited back into the lobby of the building where she promptly took the elevator to sixteen for her coffee.
The trader who suggested she make this journey swears he had no idea the doors were all locked. Still, the Parakeet is not convinced.

Thursday, December 07, 2006

overheard at work
Category: Jobs, Work, Careers


Man 1:  “ you want to go? ‘Cause I can get out of my wife’s parties”

Man 2: “Yeah, you can”

Man 3: “You could get of your wedding if you had to. ‘Cause that’s what it means to be the man.”

All: “heh-heh. Yeah. heh-heh. Yeah.”


Friday, December 08, 2006

The Complete SAGA and Triumph
Category: Automotive


Last week of October: The ‘check engine’ light comes on in the Vibe. The Huz takes the car to our trusted mechanic. He keeps the car for four days but can’t figure out the problem. Car still runs kind of bad. The Parakeet and Huz wait until after moving to deal with problem. It’s all too much 🙂

Nov 8: They take the car to a dealer on the reccomendation of trusted mechanic and Carmax. Since it might be a computer problem, dealer will have parts quicker.

Nov 9: “Hi I’m from the dealership and I want to do some bullshit stuff to your car before I figure out what’s wrong with it. All bullshit is not covered by your warranty. Will you pay for it?” After much hullabaloo, the Huz says clearly, “If your cleaning fixes the problem, I will pay for it, if it does not fix the problem I am not paying for it because it sounds ridiculous”

Nov 10: “Uh, the cleaning did not fix the problem. We need to tear down your engine” Great.

Nov 16: OK, we have finally isolated that your 2nd cylinder is cracked. The warranty has approved 100% of repair and 7 days of Rental Car. Should be ready sometime next week.

Nov 21: Huz and Parakeet rent a car. Have heard nothing from mechanic. They drive to Tennessee and back for a lovely Turkey day. Albeit in a stupid Kia Rio.

Nov 27: The Parakeet calls mechanic. Oh, so and so, your service rep isn’t in today but it looks like your parts were suppose to come in Friday but they didn’t and we dont get parts on Mondays, so hopefully it will be here tomorrow. “Well that’s too bad because we only have rental coverage until tomorrow” Call so and so tomorrow. He’ll talk to you about it.

Nov 28: Hi So and So – Where’s my car? “I’m still waiting on parts. I’ll call you as soon as they come in.” The Huz and Keet decide to keep the car. It won’t be much longer

Nov 30: “Hi, Parakeet. We need to overnight some lifters. That charge is $48.00 and your warranty doesn’t cover it.”
             “Forgive me for not understanding, so and so, we’ve been waiting on parts for nearly two weeks – why are we overnighting something now?”
            “Good point, Parakeet, let me put you on hold.”
            “oh well, we didn’t know what size lifters we needed until we got a call from the machine shop. The Huz will probably know what lifters are. This is a big job, you have to understand”
 The Huz calls so and so. “Listen, so and so, it’s your problem if you haven’t ordered parts yet. We need our car yesterday and you or the machine shop can pay to overnight the parts” Good job, huz.
         “Well, Mr. Huz, I’ll see what I can do and call you back.” No call.
Dec 1: No call.
Dec 2: The Parakeet receives a call. “Your part came in yesterday. I tried your cell three times and it was like someone picked up but didn’t talk – so your car will be ready Monday.”
          “Great, so and so. I’ll wait for your call on Monday. In the meantime, if you can’t reach me, there are three other numbers I gave you including two for the Huz”
Dec 4:  The Parakeet returns the rental car. They kept it six extra days and owe close to $200. No call from so and so. 5PM – The Huz calls so and so. He doesn’t work on Mondays. Convenient. Helpful service agents says, “it says here we’re waiting on parts”. Oh that’s funny considering he said two days ago the parts were in. “no, no your cylinders not back yet” awesome.
The Parakeet calls so and so. I would like a manager. I have a complaint. Here’s his name, Mam. Thank you so much.
Dec 5: The Parakeet speaks with the manager. He says so and so was trying to make her happy by lying about how fast they could fix the car. Well, we are not happy, she explains. I understand, he says, your cylinder should be in tomorrow. Tomorrow?? So and So calls to say he talked to three people in the shop – they have the part and the car should be ready in the morning. The Parakeet is suspicious. She calls the manager right back. No the Part is not here. So and so is being a real so and so. Car will not be ready till Thursday. The Huz is about to blow his own gasket! The lies are adding up.
Dec 6: Manager calls Parakeet – work is going well, car may be ready today or tomorrow morning. Fine. Just do it.
Dec 7: “Good morning, Huz. This is so and so. Your car will be ready by 10:30 and I’m going to waive the overnight charges and that system cleaning fee, remember that?”
         “Thank you so much, so and so, for waiving charges that I said I would not authorize. You are not doing me any favors. I will not be paying my deductible.”
        “I can’t do anything about your deductible, Huz.”
        “I’ll talk to your manager when we pick up the car, so and so, and I want to no longer hear from you.”
The Huz and Parakeet pick the car up at about 2:00. The engine is running well. It has been washed and the oil changed. So far so good.
“Ok, your total is $75.00”
“That’s the deductible I said I wasn’t paying.”
“I cant do anything about that.”
“Would I write the check to you or to my warranty company?”
“To us.”
“I’m not writing you a check for anything.”
Let me have you talk to my manager. Great. Manager removes all charges. The Huz remained calm through the whole thing and the Parakeet choked on her uncomfortable giggles.

The vibe is back. One month and $180 of rental charges later. Oi Vey!


Monday, December 11, 2006

Something about us that is different
Category: Food and Restaurants


When a banana turns a little brown, the Huz will not touch it.

The Parakeet will peel it and eat the parts that aren’t bruised.

Secret: There’s hardly ever bruises. The peel just started to turn brown.

There may be a metaphor in here or they may just have different banana tolerances.


Monday, December 11, 2006

Category: Jobs, Work, Careers

The Parakeet had an audition on Saturday for a cool play with a cool playwright and cool director. She thought it went pretty well. Good feedback. Nice adjustments. No call back. Sometimes that is disappointing. This is one of those times.

Tuesday, December 12, 2006

stretch it out…..
Category: Jobs, Work, Careers


The Parakeet, uncharacteristically tired for a Sunday (she blamed Claratin-D), went to sleep at 9PM. This made the alarm blare at 5:30AM so much more tolerable. In fact, she made it through Monday with suprising clarity and focus. It wasn’t until halfway through rehearsal, about 8:30PM, she wished she would have napped. By the time she arrived home at 10:50ishPM, she thought she may collapse. The Huz kept telling her that the Bears won, and she kept replying “Woo!” with volume that far exceeded her physical reaction, but by 11:20ishPM had to go to bed.  The day, however, wouldn’t leave her, and visions of choreography, bouncing balls, climbing girls fought her desire to sleep. She had one or two “a-ha” thoughts before finally giving in to the pull of rest. Needless to say, this morning’s alarm wasn’t kind and while she pretended not to hear it the Huz murmured, “Well, at least hit snooze or something,” and after she obliged that request twice, he resorted to kicking her leg repeatedly until she sat up and left the bedroom.  Her body is aching in strange ways. This rehearsal process is an unique one. She has been under and around many different bodies. She is kicking her legs higher than her usual breakfast can-can routine. And they are working six days a week. The Parakeet considers herself in good health, in good shape even. So some of the soreness is a bit suprising, if not injurious. Perhaps it is always positive to have our notion of self stretched or challenged.
Oh man, stretch it out……….
Nonetheless, today there will be a nap. Christmas presents will have to wait another day.

Monday, December 18, 2006

Category: Food and Restaurants


The Parakeet ate a doughnut this morning. And seriously, she ate it so fast like if no one saw…then no one would know, no one would judge, and the calories wouldn’t count.



Tuesday, December 19, 2006

Category: Life


The Parakeet is losing patience. Little things are irritating her and she’s losing sympathy for other people’s problems.

It’s beginning to feel a lot like Christmas……….


Wednesday, December 20, 2006

once bitten, twice …….an idiot
Category: Automotive


The Parakeet got on the el yesterday after work around noon. She settled in for the 40 or so minute ride back to her apt.  She put her head against the window and closed her eyes. She mostly fell asleep. This happens a lot of days, moreso on the way to work, but it was not unusual. What was unusual was how she woke up at the end of the line when everyone was told to get off the train. She had to wait for another train to go three stops back to her apt. Ugh.
This morning, the Parakeet, tired and lazy drove her car to the el stop, just made the 6:45 el and settled in to get to work on time. She jolted herself upright when she heard “Library/State/and Van Buren” one stop past hers. She ran off the car, looking slightly crazed, to be sure, and walked three blocks back to where she should have exited the train.
This was way too close a call.  The Parakeet could have taken the train right back to where she started, at home, because it loops.  She will have to drink coffee at home before she leaves instead of getting it at work. That is the only foreseeable helpful solution. At least until after January 13th.


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