An Icky First Venture

Last Tuesday, the Parakeet took Little O to his first Dr.’s appt. The first outside of the hospital, of course.  They had been home just a few days and this would be their first venture out of the house. Luckily, the Keet’s Mom was in town – she would get them all there in one piece.

This appointment made the Parakeet somewhat stressed. She is a first-time mom recovering from surgery and was still on vicodin, so let’s keep that in perspective.

She packed a diaper bag – for the first time, hopefully remembering all the essentials. She agonized and discussed with her mother when to feed the baby, when she should sleep, where he should sleep…so that they could leave on time and not have a starving child. She chose his outfit carefully. Certainly, nurses and doctors have discerning views on onesies.  In the end, Little O was fed just an hour before his appointment and sleeping in his car seat on the dining room table -perfect! They loaded the car and the Parakeet rode in the back giving her mother directions.

They found the office with no trouble.  The insurance proved to be no problem. They were called back to an exam room where a nice nurse asked them to undress the baby to be weighed. The Keet got a bit of anxiety at this point. Little O, just 6 days old, screamed whenever naked. She lifted him up to reveal a puddle of yellow-brown poo in the carseat.  He had leaked out of his diaper, through the onesie, and into the carseat. Disgusting.  So..that diaper bag is going to come in handy.

The Parakeet begins to remove his diaper and clothes. Her mother hands her the sample pack of wipes they brought. They are dried out.  They do nothing to remove the poo from his little body.  Then, the Keet removes his onesie (cute as it was) to drag poo up his back. The poor little guy is streaked. The nurse keeps saying something like, “Dont’ you have any wipes that are wet?”.  The Parakeet, on painkillers and hormones raging, does not answer, but looks around helplessly.  She has a personal goal not to cry during the appointment. Her mother says, “Apparently not. We’re new at this.” 

The nurse goes to other rooms, and as hard to believe as it may be – there are no wipes in the Pediatricain’s office. OK. They are forced to clean Little O with cotton balls.  Mind you, he is screaming the entire time.  And who can blame him – he is cold and naked and there is poo on his back. Poor thing.

The Keet has to nurse him to calm him down – and it is in this modest position that she meets the Dr.

So…when the Huz and Keet took Little O back for appt #2 on Tuesday, and all he did was pee on his Mother and the floor…well that, friends, was nothing. That, in fact, was progress. 

The Parakeet spent the drive home cooing at the baby, “I’m so proud of you. Good job at the Dr.” She seemed to forget that her clothes were wet with urine.  Only a mother…..


4 responses to “An Icky First Venture

  1. Oh my I am laughing out loud (or LOL as the kids say). You are a mother now. I am glad you shared this story…hilarious.

    Hope to see you soon!

  2. Oh man, babies! Really opens one’s eyes as to what is and isn’t gross anymore. Good job keeping it together, and for goodness’ sake, that pediatrician needs to get some wet wipes!! Proud of your new motherhood conquests!

  3. What a great way to start off my morning. That made me laugh–your descriptions are priceless. Can’t wait to see you all soon!

  4. Bahahahahahaha! I LOVE you as a mom. This is gonna be great. I am so proud of you both. He is just beautiful!

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