The Parakeet has always been a counter. She counts things. Especially to pass the time – she will just count. When she was quite young, her and her brother would sit in the back of the Station Wagon and see how high they could count on long drives.
If Little O ever complains that he’s bored on some car trip in the future, surely the Parakeet will suggest counting. “You can’t be bored, you haven’t seen how high you can count yet…”
In college, as she got obsessive about running and working out, she would count. There was a small track in the gym at school. It took 16 laps to make a mile. She would repeat “one, one, one” in time with her steps until she got to the second lap, “two, two, two” and on and on and on. For three miles at a time. How boring!
So, when a baby came into her life just three and a half weeks ago, so did many more numbers. Babies only eat, sleep, and poo. Everyone is quick to remind you of that. But no one is happy to leave it at that. Oh no…babies don’t JUST eat, sleep, and poo. They should be wetting SIX diapers a day. soiling ONE diaper every TWO days, sleeping SIXTEEN TO TWENTY hours a day, but not more than FOUR at at time, feeding TEN TO TWELVE times a day for FIFTEEN minutes on each breast. Microsoft could create software to track this stuff. Seriously.
Instead, the Parakeet has focused on the sleep. Why is Little O only sleeping twelve hours a day? She must not be doing something right. Surely these twelve daily feedings can fit into less time, right? Rocking, bathing, and stimulating his “play and tummy time” can all fit into those eight left-over hours as well, right? Wrong. Little O has slept 14 hrs a day at the most. The Parakeet has been writing in a little notebook to keep track. She is, after all, a counter.
So, when the Huz came home from work and saw her sitting in the dark nursery with Little O curled up on her chest rocking away…he asked, “What are you doing?”
“Counting,” She had to reply honestly, “If I can get to 200 rocks, I’ll know he’s asleep and then I’ll put him down, 136, 137, 138….”
Nothing says insane like rocking and counting in the corner of a dark room.