Secret Code.

The Parakeet has been understudying a play for close to a month now. For those of you not in the theater, this means that she learns and rehearses a role just in case the actress who is actually cast in the role can not go on.  If she is stuck in traffic, sick, or can go make more money somewhere else – the Parakeet would take the stage. It has been a time-consuming and not necessarily so rewarding endeavor. Nothing against the theater or the role or the play -that is just the nature of understudying.
Anyway, the bird has had to arrange more sitters than usual.  On Wednesdays, she has been going downtown in the morning to work a few hours for the traders, coming home by car or train – giving the babysitter a break and playing with Little O – and then leaving again at 3PM for an afternoon rehearsal.  Then, she gets some dinner somewhere and goes back to the theater to watch the play returning to her apartment at about 11PM.  Yes, her Wednesdays had her leaving the house at about 6:30AM and returning at 11PM. What can you do?
Obviously, during this type of schedule, she can not be breast-feeding.  So, Little O would get his formula bottles while she was gone.  She would, in turn, pump while she was out at these various jobs.
Pumping is really not a fun thing. Maybe that’s all that should be said about that.
So, the Parakeet is in the public bathroom about a week ago at the above-mentioned theater using her little manual pump to no avail. She is bored and frustrated.  She takes her phone out of her purse to check the time.  One must pump for at least fifteen minutes, mind you.
She sets the phone on her thigh so she can continue pumping, and….”Splash”.  One very expensive PDA cell phone in the toilet.  The Parakeet is scrambling.  Phone out of toilet. Pump out of hand. Precious breast milk spilling across the floor. AAAAHHHHH!
Luckily this was “clean” toilet water, but oh….YUCK! She is trying to decide what to do.  A very large part of her brain was like, “Keep Pumping!” 
She got rational and cleaned everything up.  She took the phone apart and put it back to together. It appeared that it might work.  The Palm light came on …it was powering and …melt down.
Oh. Man.
A friend was picking her up from the theater. She was going home to see the Huz and Little O and her sister and her sister’s husband were downtown. Alone. Did they know how to get home? How would she say she was on her way? What did she ever do before 2002? How do people communciate?
She borrowed the phone at the box office. 
The Huz answered, “Hello”
“Hey, my phone’s not working. So, I’ll be home soon if Jess remembers to come get me. If not, I’ll take the el. But I can’t call you”
“Oh. What’s wrong with your phone?”
“It’s dead, ok? Can I just tell you later? I’ll explain later.”
weird pause
The Parakeet managed to get home with no real drama.  Her brother-in-law googled ‘save a wet cell phone’ and they decided to take it all apart and let it dry out over night by some very low heat.
The next day it turned on, she received voicemail. All seemed well.
One week later – there are some looming problems.  Not every key works.  This is ecspecially problematic for texting. If you text the Parakeet, use the following secret code:
There is no zero.
y = e
h = d
b = x
e, d, and x are still e, d and x. they are just also y, h and b.
Are you following?

So, on Saturday the Parakeet let the Huz know she had picked up breakfast for him and that her and O would bring it to him at the shop.
Only he received this:

We can xring you tde xreakfast wdenever eou want


The Huz is starting to understand though. This morning he texted the Keet, “can you email so-and-so and ask them so-and-so?”

To which the Keet replied:
Totalle! Tdanks!

In person, now, they just tell each other “Ta-Danks!”


2 responses to “Secret Code.

  1. love it. They need places to pump everywhere. No woman should have to do that in a bathroom…or breastfeed–which I did next to a woman pooping up a storm once. 🙂

  2. I once (actually, it was on the way home from your very brother’s ordination) dropped a gold bracelet in the toilet at the Okahumpka service plaza. I still have said bracelet. So I, too, have had my hand in a public toilet.

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