It is time once again for the little Bird to spread her wings.
Her need to share, to make, to give is growing stronger and stronger
Maybe it won’t be as a little bird, maybe she is done staring into the mirror and calling it a ‘friend’.
Maybe she can fall asleep before you throw that blanket over her cage.
There are Days.
There are Days the seasons turn in an instant. Days you oversleep and you can’t seem to throw off the covers. When you run toward school, towards appointments, with a haphazard scarf and just one open eye…
These are the Days of Change.
The Days you notice you’re older. you are colder. your breath takes longer.
and you sit.
and you wait.
and you sit again.
You don’t cry. It isn’t time for that.
Posted in MAMA, poetry
Tagged MAMA, Poetry
The Parakeet is so lucky. She watches Little O see things for the first time, struggle, give up, try again, give up, imagine, create, build and play.
In just the past two days, she’s watched him tape construction paper to a hat and create a contraption that would drop snacks into his hand when he demanded them. He called her into his room to watch the “show” he would perform in the dark, twisting jumping and rolling on his bed. He stepped into a cardboard box and became a robot that refused to walk up stairs.
He also has said a few things that made her cringe. She hears the worst of herself hurled back in a yell or scream with clenched fists. She is frustrated with him, but also sad because she knows he learned those behaviors from his parents.
Today, though, she heard the good.
He played alone with a few matchbox cars while she worked at the computer, but she could hear him speaking for both of his toys in the background.
“Oh, I just cant make it up this track”
“Yes you can”
“No I cant. Nevermind. I’m not going to do it”
” We don’t talk like that here. We say ‘I can'”
“You say ‘I can get up that hill’ and then you do it”
Then, that little car in his little story drove up the track.
The Parakeet felt warm in her guts. She knew they had this conversation many times and was so happy to see him translating it to his toys unaware she was listening.
In truth, he gave her strength. When a scary but exciting request came her way today – she decided, “I can do it”. And she will.
For memory-sake, the Parakeet asked Little O a few questions on his 4th Birthday.
1. What is your favorite color? Green and Orange
2. favorite toy? refused to answer
3. favorite fruit? blueberries
4. favorite tv show? Curious George
5. favorite food for lunch? macaroni and cheese
6. favorite outfit? refused to answer (but he asks for his ‘pirate’ shirt a lot)
7. favorite game? refused to answer (but loves wrestling and fighting with dad and if he sits still he likes chutes and ladders)
8. favorite snack? pirate’s booty
9. favorite animal? giraffe
10. favorite song? row row row your boat
11. favorite book? The Little Engine that Could
12. best friend? Liam Graham
13. favorite cereal? Cheerios
14. favorite thing outside? playground
15. favorite drink? juice
16. favorite holiday? christmas
17. what do you like to take with you to bed at night? cozy and pac (blanket and pacifier – maybe that won’t be the case at 5 year old bday?)
18. favorite breakfast food? pancakes
19. what do you want for birthday dinner? cake and pizza and hot dogs
20. what do you want to be when you grow up? refused to answer
XOXO Little O, cutie-pie Man.
Little O doesn’t do so great with transition. It might be developmental and it might be his “age” or it might be his personality. More than likely it’s all of the above. His parents and teachers work to let him know what’s coming next, the order of events, if you will. Advance warning certainly helps, but it doesn’t always ease the pain. Leaving school at the end of the day is particularly tough and often embarrassing. Some days he cries just seeing his mother walk in the room, “Noooo! I don’t want to go.” Woah.
Last week-ish, the Parakeet bought ice cream. They never have ice cream in the house. Little O was so excited and adorable. He could hardly stand it shaking from excitement. The Huz had the great idea that ice cream was only for school days. Little O could earn ice cream by leaving school without a fit. WOW. Genius.
Little O knows that he has to get his shoes and coat and head out without a fit and then he gets ice cream. 3 School Days. 3 Successes.
Then, there was today.
The Parakeet went to pick Little O up from school. He saw her and whined, “No I don’t want to go”. The Parakeet gave him more time to play and chatted with his teacher for a while. Then, she started the “Hey O, two more minutes” thing. He ignored her. She asked him to get his shoes. He ran away, “No I’m NOT going home”. He even got as far as the closet of the quiet room. She reminded him very calmly about his treat at home. He started to get his shoes and coat but then grabbed at toys slamming them around and playing loud. She asked him to come to her. He said “NO” and started to throw a fit. She let him know he had lost his ice cream.
“I WANT My Ice Cream!”……..”I Want My Ice Cream”. She put on his hat and coat and helped him to the door. The other parents were a little concerned. The teacher knew exactly what happened. Owen walked to the car crying. She put him in his car-seat and started to drive home. She wasn’t sure she had ever heard fake cries of this magnitude and drama.
“But I want it. I need my ICE CREAM….MYYYYY IIIIICCCCEEE CrreeEeEEAAAAmmmm”
“O, you had a fit. You weren’t cooperative. You did not earn ice cream today”
“But I want Ice Cream TODAY. When can I have it?”
“You can try again on the next school day”
“Oh, but I want it TODAYYYY!!!!!”
“O, you didn’t earn ice cream because you threw a fit and throwing another fit in the car is not going to earn ice cream either”
Small decrease in volume. Hiccups. Deep Breaths.
“What can I do to get Ice Cream?”
“You can leave school without having a fit”
“BUT what can I do to get Ice Cream TODAY?”
“There is no ice cream today, Bud. I cant give you any ice cream. You can try again on Wednesday”
” No Not WEDNESDAY. TODAY!!!!! I WANT ICE CREAM TODAY!!!!”
The tears got real. The crying was so loud. The Parakeet knew he was so genuinely disappointed. She also was trying not to laugh. She also knew at this point there was no way she could give in.
The sobs continued and then through tears, “Who’s going to help me? Someone’s got to help me get ice cream. SOMEONE help me get ice cream”
This was just comical.
The above conversation repeated three or four times until the Parakeet said she understood he was sid and she was sorry he was upset, but he needed to have better behavior to get ice cream.
“You’re making ME UPSET, Mom”
She grinned and bit her cheek so she didn’t let out a sound. He could not see because she was still driving.
“What’s tomorrow, Mom?”
“Tomorrow is Tuesday.”
“Do we go to school on Tuesday?”
“No bud – we go to church on Tuesday”
“Oooooo……I want Ice Cream after this day. The day we go to church”
“We can try again tomorrow. You can leave church with no fits and have ice cream”
“You can leave church with no fits and earn ice cream”
“Thanks, Mom. Thanks for letting me try again after this day. I need to try again for ice cream”
and that was really the end of it. twenty minutes later. Yeesh. Stay strong, Moms.