This Happened.

Little O doesn’t do so great with transition. It might be developmental and it might be his “age” or it might be his personality.  More than likely it’s all of the above.  His parents and teachers work to let him know what’s coming next, the order of events, if you will.  Advance warning certainly helps, but it doesn’t always ease the pain.  Leaving school at the end of the day is particularly tough and often embarrassing.  Some days he cries just seeing his mother walk in the room, “Noooo! I don’t want to go.”  Woah.
Last week-ish, the Parakeet bought ice cream.  They never have ice cream in the house.  Little O was so excited and adorable.  He could hardly stand it shaking from excitement.  The Huz had the great idea that ice cream was only for school days.  Little O could earn ice cream by leaving school without a fit.  WOW. Genius.
Little O knows that he has to get his shoes and coat and head out without a fit and then he gets ice cream.  3 School Days. 3 Successes.
Then, there was today.
The Parakeet went to pick Little O up from school.  He saw her and whined, “No I don’t want to go”.  The Parakeet gave him more time to play and chatted with his teacher for a while.  Then, she started the “Hey O, two more minutes” thing.  He ignored her.  She asked him to get his shoes.  He ran away, “No I’m NOT going home”.  He even got as far as the closet of the quiet room.  She reminded him very calmly about his treat at home.  He started to get his shoes and coat but then grabbed at toys slamming them around and playing loud.  She asked him to come to her.  He said “NO” and started to throw a fit.  She let him know he had lost his ice cream.
Instant Tears.
“I WANT My Ice Cream!”……..”I Want My Ice Cream”.   She put on his hat and coat and helped him to the door.  The other parents were a little concerned.  The teacher knew exactly what happened.  Owen walked to the car crying.  She put him in his car-seat and started to drive home.  She wasn’t sure she had ever heard fake cries of this magnitude and drama.
“But I want it. I need my ICE CREAM….MYYYYY IIIIICCCCEEE CrreeEeEEAAAAmmmm”
“O, you had a fit. You weren’t cooperative. You did not earn ice cream today”
“But I want Ice Cream TODAY. When can I have it?”
“You can try again on the next school day”
“Oh, but I want it TODAYYYY!!!!!”
“O, you didn’t earn ice cream because you threw a fit and throwing another fit in the car is not going to earn ice cream either”
Small decrease in volume.  Hiccups.  Deep Breaths.
“What can I do to get Ice Cream?”
“You can leave school without having a fit”
“BUT what can I do to get Ice Cream TODAY?”
“There is no ice cream today, Bud. I cant give you any ice cream.  You can try again on Wednesday”
” No Not WEDNESDAY.  TODAY!!!!! I WANT ICE CREAM TODAY!!!!”
The tears got real. The crying was so loud. The Parakeet knew he was so genuinely disappointed.  She also was trying not to laugh. She also knew at this point there was no way she could give in.
The sobs continued and then through tears, “Who’s going to help me? Someone’s got to help me get ice cream.  SOMEONE help me get ice cream”
This was just comical.
The above conversation repeated three or four times until the Parakeet said she understood he was sid and she was sorry he was upset, but he needed to have better behavior to get ice cream.
“You’re making ME UPSET, Mom”
She grinned and bit her cheek so she didn’t let out a sound. He could not see because she was still driving.
“What’s tomorrow, Mom?”
“Tomorrow is Tuesday.”
“Do we go to school on Tuesday?”
“No bud – we go to church on Tuesday”
“Oooooo……I want Ice Cream after this day. The day we go to church”
“We can try again tomorrow.  You can leave church with no fits and have ice cream”
“What?”
“You can leave church with no fits and earn ice cream”
“Thanks, Mom. Thanks for letting me try again after this day.  I need to try again for ice cream”

and that was really the end of it. twenty minutes later. Yeesh.  Stay strong, Moms.

9. WOW.

The Parakeet is fairly certain she has done an anniversary post for the last 5ish years.
So – even though blogging is sporadic lately – there has to be an Anniversary post.  It’s starting to be that the Bird doesn’t want to say her age anymore – when does that happen? Apparently when you’ve been married nine years and you have a three-year old and it’s 2011 and you just sit down some days and go “What is happening? Slow down!”
Anyway…
Last year’s anniversary found them sailing the carribean and indulging in the most luxurious of ways.  This year, they walked themselves over to a local BYOB and had the most delicious French-Mexican cuisine.  Maybe the fact that those two types of food are so hard to imagine together is the reason they are so great.
By a strange twist of fate (well more like a missed Amtrak) the Huz’ sister was in town so she got babysitter duty and they called off their generous neighbor.  It was very rainy after a strange string of really warm October days.  They walked through Winnemac Park and commented again on how grateful they were to have it just one block from home – such a lovely respite in the city – little trails and trees of changing colors – they talked and held hands and chose a wine carefully.  It was simple and romantic.
If the Parakeet had to describe the past year of their marriage, she might go to those two words.  The Huz and the Parakeet have done a lot of growing recently.  After a few years of stress beginning businesses and parenthood, the past year was one of rekindled love and gratitude.  They are making more time for each other, listening harder, complimenting more, sacrificing more – growing up.
Getting married early doesn’t make you any more mature.  It just means you have someone with whom you are sharing those early pains of adulthood.  They talked a lot last night about what it meant to go through most of their twenties married.  It meant for the experimenting, the searching, the playing, and the failing – they had partners. For the scrapes and the starting over and the dreaming and the planning, they have had each other.  Nine years later, it is like a big welcoming hug to know they have accepted each others growth, even encouraged it and ideally become better people.  This isn’t the last ‘nine year cycle’ to be sure, but it was the first and it’s an accomplishment.

Happy Anniversary, kids! You’re not so young anymore.

(and yes, this picture had to be scanned)

Free – the Second Half

Little O remembers clearly the Truck Cake from his second birthday.  In fact, on GB’s birthday this year – he suggested we make her a truck cake.  While the Parakeet wasn’t even sure she could do that again – she was very certain she could not MAIL a ‘truck’ cake to Florida. So instead they sent her a nice video text.
Anyway, this year Little O was very clear he would like a “train” cake and he wanted it to have “lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots of cars”.  Well, the Parakeet became a bit fixated on making sure this happened for him.  In fact, she googled ‘train cake’ and wouldn’t you know that Betty Crocker has a nice little video on just how to make one?  Since the Parakeet had specific instructions that there be “lots and lots and lots of cars” – she went the cupcake route with a cake engine.
The night before “THOMAS!!!” the Parakeet made a LOT of cake batter.  She filled a loaf pan (or two) and two cupcake tins.  She planned to send the “cars” to playgroup with O on Monday for his bday celebration there.  When the cakes were finally done near 10PM or something ridiculous – she let them cool a bit and wrapped the little guys’ presents sent from far-away relatives.  About 10:45 or so, she went to the kitchen ready to assemble the most beautiful cake engine.  She tipped out the loaf cake only for half of it to remain stuck to the pan! She was crushed and frustrated.  When would there be time to make another cake??!
She crawled into bed with the Huz (who has passed out much earlier after a long week) and bemoaned the birthday celebration, “I just want him to have such a good time and love it all”.  The Huz mumbled something along the lines of “He’s three. Of course he’ll love it. Get some sleep.”

SO…..It was after the Thomas outing while the O-ster napped when the Keet got back to the Cake business.  She salvaged what she could and made a smaller engine.  She frosted the cup cakes with different colors and threw candy all over that thing.  It looked like a Sugar Explosion on rails.
Then she put all his presents on the table.  The Huz napped too – because he was in a bad mood from Thomas rain and traffic.  When he got up, he got Little O’s bike from the basement and put it in the living room covered with a beach towel.
The O woke up from his nap and discovered “Cake! Presents! A bike!” He was totally beside himself.  His godmother B and her friend C both came over to join in on the Birthday dinner and present mania.
Little O opened each present as if he had never seen anything more amazing in his life! He kept saying ” I wonder what it could be….” as he pulled the wrapping paper.  He got LOTS of pieces for his train set – that was just too much.  It was all quite adorable.
The ‘grown-ups’ had fajitas and cake and beer and smiled at the O.  The O had cake and tortillas and maybe a couple pieces of cheese and talked a mile a minute playing with everything at once.  A VERY HAPPY BIRTHDAY, INDEED.

Freeee! – Part One

This post is really about three and not free, but Little O pronounces it much closer to freee – so that’s the title.  August 20th was the big day.  It is so hard for the Parakeet to process that three years ago she was wheeled out of the OR and handed a screaming, wiry infant that instantly clung to her breast, quite literally, for life.  Just three short years ago.  How much has changed!

The birthday celebration was two-part for the O.  The first part was a trip to see Thomas the Tank Engine in Union, IL.  The second part was “cake and presents”.  Little O has known about part two for a while now, but part one was a SURPRISE until Thursday night.  The Keet and the Huz wanted Little O to be able to look forward to the trip, so they told him over dinner that on his birthday they would be driving out to take a ride on Thomas the Train.
HUGE SMILES. Endless questions, lots of talking….

In fact, he woke up at 4:30 on Friday morning asking if it could be morning, could it be his Birthday, is Thomas here? Oh.My.  They were able to get him to sleep a little longer and wait one.more.whole.day.

On Saturday morning, Little O watched Thomas while he ate breakfast.  He fingered the brochure that came in the mail with his tickets.  He pointed at pictures and referred to his ‘map’.  The family loaded into the car, coffee cups full to drive out to Union – the Huz expected it to take just over an hour.

There wasn’t much traffic.  They moved along at a clip.  As they were about to exit the highway, the sky changed.  It was quick and thick and gray.  Little O asked from his carseat, “Why is the sky dark, dad?”   Well, it appears there is a major storm coming.  Neither parent checked the weather.  Why wouldn’t it be sunny and perfect on the Saturday morning of the third birthday of non-refundable Thomas the Train tickets?

It POURED.  The radio handed out flash flood warnings.  The Huz followed the winding signs through detoured and construction-laden roads to the Illinois Railway Museum.  They parked in the flooded out field and watched it pour.  The Keet knew there was no option but to go for it.  There was an old box in the back of the car.  The Huz unfolded it and used it to cover he and O’s head while she RAN.

They made the most of the morning and got matching blue ponchos for everyone.  The company was nice enough to be selling those at half-price.  Little O skipped a lot of the tents and they made sure to take the Thomas ride.  He was super agreeable and they were grateful for his happy personality watching MAJOR TODDLER meltdowns from so many other children in the park.  The Huz and Keet were definitely crankier than the Kiddo.  He was a superstar.

They drove home with a fun stop at Steak ‘N Shake where Little O was very excited to order a “grilled cheese please”.   He was just non-stop chatter and happiness.  It made the Huz and the Keet sooo happy to see him this way.  It seemed like he knew this was a very special day and he was a very special kid.

see..how soaked?
riding Thomas…through the corn…O found the whistle a little loud
so so happy!

so dark at 10:30AM, but still so crowded

Oh, Thomas…

HE. WAS. THERE.

Did She Really?

The Parakeet said two things to Little O today she was hoping to never say.

She was sitting at the dining room table and Little O was going to the bathroom.  He ran out with his pants around his ankles saying, ” I went a little potty on myself”.  He was trying to get a big laugh, so the Parakeet calmly answered, “go get a little piece of toilet paper, clean it up, and pull up your pants”.

She went back to her book.  A few seconds later Little O was standing next to her holding the toilet paper he had unrolled all the way from the bathroom.  This toddler habit of unrolling toilet paper drives the Huz crazy.  The Huz was outside prepping some paint samples for a client before he had to leave for a 4 – Midnight shift.  He was ‘on the edge’ and didn’t need un-rolled toilet paper.  Before she could edit herself the Parakeet hopped up, “You don’t want your dad to see that buddy! Roll it back up!”
Little O scurried back to the bathroom trying to re-roll and mumbling ” I don’t want my dad to see this…”
Oh jeez. The Bird had always hoped to be a firm parent in her own right and never to make the Huz the bad guy with “wait till your father comes home” talk, but oh well…3 years was close.

Then, as she was getting Little O ready for bed she asked him his favorite part of the day.  This is their routine leading into prayer so they can mention the things for which they are thankful.  Little O wasn’t  having it, ” I don’t want to pray”.  Mom leaves right after prayer and the sleeping is supposed to start, so praying is often an “I don’t want to” type thing.
“You don’t have to, bud, but Mom will pray – what should I say was your favorite part of the day?”
Little O reached up and put his hand over the Keet’s mouth.
WHAT???  She was soooo taken aback.
“We don’t do that, O.  You don’t put your hand over Mommy’s mouth”
He looked surprised, “Well, ____ does that to his mom when he doesn’t want her to talk.”  ______ goes to playgroup with O.
” It’s rude, O”
“Well, _______ does it”
” Well, Owen does not do it.  You don’t put your hand over your mommy’s or anyone’s mouth.  If you want me to stop talking you say, ‘Mommy, please stop talking’.  “

It wasn’t quite “I don’t care if so and so gets to stay in a hotel after prom, you are going to be home by midnight “…..but she felt it coming, in her gut.

Yearbook 2011

Little O started going to a co-op preschool playgroup daycare type thing just a few short weeks ago.  It was so exciting for him and his mom.  He has taken to it really well.  He is there two full days a week while the Parakeet works.  He is with other children ages 2-4.  His teachers are lovely – one in fact has been a dear friend of the family for about twelve years.  The other parents have been so welcoming. The whole thing has just been a blessing from the start.  As a family, the Russells are thankful about how it is all working.

Little O transitioned into his two full days, first attending song-time with his mom, then staying through lunch, then staying through nap, and finally a full day.  This four day process made the whole thing go very smoothly.  Obviously, the coordinators have been at this for a few years.

After about his second full week, some of the older kids were “graduating”.  The teachers created ‘yearbooks’ for all of the enrolled students.  Little O was included in this special tradition.  The Parakeet now has his hand and foot-prints forever in posterity – which feels very fitting on the eve of his third birthday.  The graduation was really informal and sweet and pot-luck and outside and all things that seem like preschool and family.  It was lovely.

Little O also got to bring home a yearbook.  The Parakeet has decided to share the list of “favorites” he gave his teacher at the time of putting the book together.

favorite toy – train tracks (not a surprise – he is playing with them when he is dropped off and picked up)
favorite song – where is thumbkin (the keet and huz have not gotten to hear this one yet)
favorite food – bananas (not sure where that came from – he now tells the Huz it is waffles)
favorite book – digger truck book (also not a surprise)
favorite playgroup activity – playing play-doh
favorite costume – ” i dont have a costume” (he has since decided robot)
the most important thing in my cubby is – all my sleeping stuff (oh man, not sure he’ll ever not use that ‘cozy’ blanket or his pac)
my favorite playgroup room is – the kitchen
my favorite outside activity is – driving the big car (surprised? anyone???)

that’s all for now.  Cant wait to see how next year’s answers compare

also of note was a picture that Little O drew of playgroup.  there are lots of colors and scribbles on the page and at the bottom one of his teachers wrote, ‘this is not playgroup. this is a zig-zag hat’.   It seems Little O had a different interpretation

Shoes

As a parent, the parakeet does want O to be a free spirit – no need for rules for rules’ sake?  So this morning, when he thought it would be fun to wear one red shoe and one blue shoe – she  saw no good reason to say “No”.  They were getting ready to meet a few friends at the beach where he would take them off anyway.  No big deal.
Little O had a barefoot blast on the beach and so did his Mama. Who wouldn’t? it – it was 82 degrees at MOST.  There was sun and breeze.  Just perfect.  She had a little trouble wrangling the nearly three-year old when it was time to go.  He has a not-fun habit of running very far and very fast when he doesn’t want to leave.  This time he also had a large dump truck.  She scooped him under one arm, the dump truck in the other and threw all of their stuff in the ginormous red wagon.  Little O pulled it himself all the way back to the car.  He was sandy from head to toe.  Surely – he would go straight to the shower.   The Parakeet got some resistance on that front as well and the nap.  When he was finally clean and sleeping, she felt accomplished and worn out.  She picked up her cell phone to see a text message from her friend, “I have O’s shoes”
OH.MAN.  Now, he is essentially out two pairs of shoes – it could be a weekend of one red and one blue.  But he will have a bonus play-date in the near future.

A Conversation with O

As happens at his age, as soon as you get little O in the car he “has to go potty”.  Nevermind you asked him ten times before leaving the house, nevermind you just carried a sippy-cup, a coffee mug, two umbrellas, a large purse, and a very tall 2 year old to the car.  The act of putting that all into the vehicle safely and securely feels harrowing enough – now can you just leave for your destination? But 3 out of 4 times, “Mom, I have to go Potty” are the first words after the click of the Parakeet’s own seat-belt.  AAARRRGGGHHHH. “OK, sweetie, let’s run back in but make it Reeeeaaallll fast”.  Notice how the Bird never loses her temper or says anything unkind to her child. Or uses sarcasm.

On Wednesday evening, the Huz had had enough of managing little O’s whines and was feeling the whine virus sneaking up on his own person.  When post-nap time was rainy, the Parakeet offered to whisk him off to the library for an hour.  They LOVE the public library on a rainy afternoon – it is FREE, it has PUZZLES, it has BOOKS, it is a 5 min drive – it is FREE.

As soon as Little O was all settled, “Mom I have to go potty”
“Well, honey I think you can go at the library”
“But I have to go potty, Mom”
“I think you can go at the library”, She pulled away from the curb and onto the street.
“I don’t know if I can hold it”
“Well, buddy I’m driving now and you can go when we get to the library”
“OK, I’ll just wiggle my toes”

All bad moods have disappeared.  When trying to be patient, would you all just wiggle your toes?

Easter 11

The Bird has to tell you about Easter – like every year – it is still her favorite. This was no exception.  It felt low-key and easy.  Mimi sent O a cute Easter outfit.  GB sent enough goodies to fill his basket.  The Keet and Huz recently reconnected with some dear, old friends who came over for Easter dinner (and brought half the food).  It really was relaxed and lovely.

Little O dyed eggs this year.  It felt nearly cliche to be so excited watching him get so excited.  He didn’t know the egg was going to come out of the cup a whole different color! So genuine and so sweet.

He woke up bright and early and was excited to see “new stuff” on the living room floor in his Easter basket.  The Keet and Huz rolled out of bed to watch him look at each thing.  By 8AM, the Keet had to take him outside where he could use his new shovel and gardening tools and look for bugs and worms with his new magnifying glass.  Church wasn’t until 11.

Service was lovely.  They decided to try and keep O in the pews through the children’s message.  He loved the processional and was mostly quiet.  He did ask to go potty  – of course.  The Huz left with him and as they came back into church, Pastor had moved into the central aisle.  O came trotting in and yelled “I’m back!”  Pastor acknowledged, “good to see you, O” and everything continued on – oh JEEZ – I think you know whose kid this is!  The Huz and Keet had been telling him that Jesus came on Easter until he got too scared that Jesus was going to be in his room or something and the explaining got too confusing for all involved.

After his nap, we had a lovely dinner with friends who were way too indulgent and helpful with the two-year old.  He had his Easter Egg Hunt party of one in the backyard.  Hilarious! 4 adults cheering him on with each discovery – might have to find him some competition next year.
The food was scrumptious.  They all went to bed early and full, the perfect way to end any Holiday.

Creating. Saving.

The Parakeet has found it hard to post over the past month or two.  It’s easy to blame Facebook and other time-wasters.  Most of the time, though, she thinks she “should” be doing something else (making a grocery list, bookkeeping for JRR, thank you notes to clients) and the blog should be the reward.  She learns time and again that isn’t really the truth. She is working to own her creative time.  The writing and choosing pictures helps her be a better mother, wife, business-owner, friend….
Saving her family’s memories (somewhere on the internet) is also of value.  Hopefully, this will be a record they can look back on 6 years from now or even six months from now.  Hopefully, the internet doesn’t disappear.

So – In earnest: a re-start, a re-cap, but not a re-committal – that seems too scary.

There will be more to come….